写在孩子满月

  到了一年中最好的时候,我终于迎来可爱的宝宝,生命突然就充实的无以复加。多少劳累的日夜,我和家人浑然不觉,看着新生命茁壮成长,感觉生活可以这样平淡的幸福,温暖原来可以随处流淌,挥洒自如。
  但这不是平静的秋天。即使最好的季节,老家县城的天空依旧灰蒙,因工业化推进而越来越糟的环境连同农人焚烧秸秆生成的浓烟一同让小城迷离一片。却是因家族的原因,致我们有家难回。我无意抨击我们的政府,但他们某些毫无人性的政策确让我们被迫流离失所,甚至让我对其失去信心。一介书生,实难扭转乾坤,于是不得不隐姓埋名、寄人篱下,在艰难的世事里寻找生活的转机。孩子就在这个时候来到我们身边,我们忘掉不快,开始小心翼翼的喜悦。
  孩子是很多人的寄托和期待。尤其是母亲,好像一下子找到了精神寄托,即使忙碌也总挂着笑容。我知道,以后我不再是她的信仰,儿子才是。至于岳父母、孩子的舅舅舅母、小姨姨夫等更是挂念的无微不至,这让寄人篱下的我们少了很多麻烦。妻子没有经历多少生活的磨难,我一度担心她受不了照顾孩子这么琐碎的艰辛,但我深夜醒来,发现她正给孩子喂奶或换尿布,很多时候,我早已睡的人事不省。女人的坚强其实大大超出男人的期待,或者,根本就胜过男人。这让我常常想起过往的种种,从小到大,我委屈孤单的时候第一个想到的就是母亲,即便她多么孱弱的身躯,在她的怀里我依然感觉温暖有安全感。看着妻子因分娩而至今苍白的脸,心里会疼痛。最近总想到大学和高中的时光,那是阳光灿烂的日子,羞涩安静的她让我一见倾心,于是开始情书的狂轰乱炸。这个单纯的小女孩怎经得住我这猛烈地炮火,不知不觉就上了“贼船”,至今已近十年。那些颓废的美丽和青涩的时光,躲在记忆里,每每被翻出来,都是感动。那时,我们该不会想到,孩子还是诞生在这个我们旅程开始的地方。甚至,我们不敢奢望孩子的来临,一切的缘分让我相信,事情的结果都是水到渠成,强求不得也避之不开。
  孩子的事在朋友之间没法低调。分娩前后,大宝挂念的不得了,电话天天问,我说过要是有缘就请他做孩子的干爹,他欣然应允。无论如何,我相信他们还是有缘的,因为孩子差点就在他生日那天出生。当然,有些事情还需要确认,我怕给他的生活造成某些不便。当然,孩子要是多了这么一位勤奋厚道的长辈,相信教育是没有问题的。中学的好友好多留在了县城,月洲、竹祥、有伟、小马、念强、永波等给与帮助甚多,在这记下,等孩子长大了,让他知道他背负了那么多的牵挂和期待,应该不负所托,努力成才。
  我本不打算把博客开下去了,因为写不出好文章,没有特色,近两年也没怎么更新。生活得琐碎渐渐消磨我的锐气和理想,我已不善观察和思考,整日为柴米油盐奔波,哪有心思写东西?何况,有那么多好文章可以读,写了岂不是浪费自己和别人的时间。但这几年,大宝一直给交着费用,我想总不要把这笔钱和大宝的期待给辜负了,加上孩子的出生,也需要记下他成长的快乐或烦恼——那就写下去吧。
  秋天来的还是无遮无挡,多数时候,它会晴空万里。我的孩子,你生在秋天,长大后就要像秋天那样有着宽阔磊落的心胸;你得到那么多前辈的关怀,长大后就要有一颗感恩善良的心;你背负了那么多期待,自始至终就要懂得内敛果敢,扎实努力。我和你妈妈不求别的,只愿你做到这三点,无论成功与否,你都能得到别人的尊重。要奋斗就要有艰辛,我们一起努力吧。
  我的孩子,愿你健康成长!在已经开始的人生长河中慢慢砥砺,你终会长大……

[本日志由 greenapple 于 2010-01-14 08:37 PM 编辑]
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